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  • Writer's pictureKrista Law

Bed, Bath & Beyond My Wildest Dreams

Memorial Day Monday sounds the siren of summertime and from that moment activities like barbeques, boat rides, and beach days ensue. Sunny days and hot temperatures demand recreation outside the four walls of our homes that have offered warmth and comfort during the cold winter and spring seasons. Tropical vacations, road trips, camping, sightseeing, Disney Land, and weekend getaways are all the rage during June, July and August. Those three months provide permission to play in ways that the other nine months of the year prevent.

It is Labor Day that signals the end of the season and tends to incite either one last summer time hurrah, or in my case, an opportunity to prepare for the long fall, winter and spring seasons that lie ahead. While my husband contests every year, I look forward to spending our final three-day weekend wrapping up all the loose ends that were unraveled by months of haphazard schedules, spontaneous adventures and lazy days resting and relaxing around the house. Each year I demand that we use this final holiday to cover up the evidence of our summer love affair with sloth and gluttony. So, organizational blueprints are drawn and strategic cleaning commences, and like a stalwart soldier, I head out to attack Ikea, Target and Bed, Bath & Beyond to wrangle the weapons of order necessary to fortify my home for the school year. When I arrive at my first stop, I…am…immediately…distracted…

I go into Bed, Bath & Beyond to buy newly minted mattress pad covers only to discover so…much…more! I think they stopped at “Bed” and “Bath” and just tucked on the “Beyond” because it would be far too long of a store name to include things like “Bed, Bath & As Seen on TV” or “Bed, Bath & Everything You Need for a Spa Day” or “Bed, Bath & Gadgets and Gizmos-A-Plenty, We’ve Got Whose-Its and Whats-Its Galore, You Want Thing-A-Ma-Bobs? We’ve Got Twenty, but Who Cares? No Big Deal! I Want More!”

I digress…just like I did after I found the mattress pad covers that I went in for and proceeded to wander the aisles in sheer amazement (or was it amusement?) at all that the store had to offer as both contribution and distraction to my original task of organization and order.

Did you know that at Bed, Bath & Beyond, you can buy Hot Buns? A simple styling solution that allows you to just roll, snap and wrap! Who knew? That won’t make my house more organized, but might do wonders for my bird’s nest hair! And at the end of the day, when I take out my Hot Buns, they sell a customized Head Massager that applies just the right kind of tingle to loosen a tight scalp. But if “The Head and the Hair” are not your problem, try the Sole Scrubber. Just soap it up for a sudsy foot massage! However, my favorite random product that must fall into the “Way Beyond” category is Wacky-tivities Kinetic Sand – One Touch Will Blow Your Mind. And it did. This product has zero order and organizing value, however for pure curiosity, you can run your fingers through the sample display and experience a sand that never dries, isn’t sticky or messy and stays perfectly coiffed in sand castle construction until you, not the elements, choose to destroy it.

As I wandered through the store looking suspicious while taking these snapshots, inciting others to wonder why I would need to photograph Denim Stretch Leggings with Back Pockets, I realized that everything in that store is meant to make life easier, better, cleaner, prettier, or neater. In fact, there seems to be something for anything and everything that ails, bothers or frustrates. Yet, however intrigued I was by the cleverly marketed packages and creatively designed products, something in me knew that I didn’t need any of it. My inner compass told me that I could fill my cart with things that might make life clean and neat but that perhaps there is more beauty in messiness than in the order that a Studio 3B Bedside Caddy might provide.

So, strangely enough, I took only the mattress covers and pictures and left only footprints. But I’m not going to lie, the Kinetic Sand was tempting…

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